Sometimes I think about my friend Paul.
Paul was in art school with me and we often shared the same classes.
Paul often had me laughing in class and I looked forward to seeing him everyday. He was very funny. He had a girlfriend and they would play Diablo II online. Paul suggested I play online too.
He dropped out of art school and entered the military (at least that is what I heard). Sometimes I think about Paul and his antics.
I hope Paul is happy and healthy.

Sometimes I think about my friends Scott and Eric. We attended the same Sunday school. I considered them bestfriends. Hell, me and Scott even "dated" at the time. I cared a lot about both of them. I often wonder where they ended up in life and how they are doing. It is too bad we couldn't keep in touch. I hope Scott and Eric are happy and healthy. I hope life was kind to them and their families.

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I've been having on of those days.
You know, those days where you wish you were different.
Where you wish you had done things differently or taken a different path or looked different.
A few weeks ago I was doing well on my weightloss goals, but the pendulum has swung in the other direction and I am gaining again.
I wish I had appreciated the body I had when I was younger, but you know...I never really thought it mattered. No one was ever interested anyway so I just focused on what made me happy. But in this world where you can use money to pull, tuck, suck,and lift everything to make you gorgeous...what chances does a plain gal like me have.

I'm not really sad or anything. That is just how the situation and how reality is...plain and simple. You can't change how people think or how people see you or even what qualities people see in you. The truth is we are all on this spinning rock trying to find someone(s) to share our world with. For the millions and millions of people on this earth we, as individuals, are very lonely; unable to open up to others. Afraid to be our authentic selves...and that makes me sad. Wish we could freely hug each other...yes there are so many people in this world that just need hug. If you have love in your life, hold on to it. Cherish it. Share it with others.

I did finish that project for my dad. I wonder how things will be here at home once I am gone...I wonder how my family will cope. I think I will be fine as a much more of loner anyways...but I will miss them.
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